Poor performance as a slave

Goddess has asked that I write an entry for the blog saying how I have fared as a slave so far. The answer is not very well. Goddess is not happy with me in so many ways that I have lost count. I would love to be able to say that I have been a success as a slave, but it wouldn't be true. Yes, I have tried my best. I have moved close to where She lives. I try and do everything She says. But it's not an easy job and I have failed so far because I keep messing up or forgetting things.
The other day while I was at her house alone her neighbour knocked to say he could smell gas. It turned out that there was a leak outside his house, but instead of getting the gas people in to find out what was causing the smell I left it to him and went away. Goddess was extremely angry with me for that because she felt her children might have been in danger. Now it seems the strong wind overnight blew open the door of the fridge she has in an outside cupboard - which I thought I had locked with a padlock but which I obviously didn't - and blew important things out of the fridge and onto the road outside. I think this may be the last straw for Goddess so far as I'm concerned and I can hardly blame her.
Goddess is very demanding and I know that I have failed to meet her high standards. I have made mistakes - too many I know. She is often angry with me - usually with justification. The life I fantasised about has not been realised. She is unhappy with me much of the time and as a result I am sometimes unhappy myself knowing I have failed. I no longer wear the CB that she previously wanted me to wear and any thoughts of BDSM, cross dressing or bondage are distant memories.
Still, I have made my choice and I want to please Goddess so I will continue to do my best, in the hope that at some point she will be happy with me as her slave. She is a wonderful person and deserves better than a pathetic cunt slave like me.

Release from my CB

It's been a while since I last updated my Slave to Goddess blog. Goddess released me from my chastity device last week after two months and I've had time for any soreness to go away. I am ready to put it back on whenever Goddess wants. I miss it in a strange way.
I am still living in my country cottage and enjoying life as Goddess's slave. I see Goddess every day and do her chores and secretarial work. She said the other day that when she has a big house she will keep me chained up in the loft wearing a hood and only let me out when she feels like it. It's an exciting thought. But in the meantime I am focussing on trying to be a better slave and making sure she is happy with me. I haven't served as her maid lately but am very happy to do so whenever she wants. For that matter I would be happy to drink her golden nectar or be pissed on, not to mention being whipped and put into bondage. Of course it is Goddess who will decide when or if anything happens. Meanwhile I have my rubber suit, which I put on at home sometimes at night.I enjoy the feeling of total enclosure, but I would love to be padlocked into it for the night or the whole day.
I can but dream!

Kilted up in public

Goddess carried out her promise today that I should wear the kilt I bought a few weeks ago in public. And it couldn't have been much more public. She instructed me to accompany her to London where she was having lunch with some of her girlfriends at an up market restaurant. While there I had to go to Shepherds Bush Market to buy some fruit and some make up for black women. And then I drove to Oxford Street to look for a dress she wanted. I couldn't find the exact one so had to walk up and down Oxford Street asking in various clothes shops for the correct dress.
I suppose I got quite a few strange looks but maybe they thought I'm Scottish (which I'm not). Occasionally I caught sight of myself walking along in my skirt in shop windows and realised that I did stand out somewhat. But it didn't bother me as much as I feared and I would happily do it again. Later I picked Goddess up after her lunch and she insisted that I get out of the car, which gave her girlfriends a chance to look me up and down. They seemed a bit surprised, but knowing Goddess as they do, they know that anything is possible where she is concerned. I drove her back home and we went to her local, me still in my kilt, and later she instructed me to do her food shopping in her local supermarket. By the end, I had almost forgotten how I was dressed. Goddess reminded me that I should be wearing my remote control electric shock strap around my genitals, but I do that anyway whenever I am with her.
Whether the kilt will become a regular item for me I don't know, but if Goddess wants it I will of course wear it. But then, if she told me to wear a miniskirt, stockings and high heels I would do so, as I will do anything Goddess wants.

Privileged position

As slave to Goddess I am privileged to spend more time with her than anyone apart from her children. She lights up my life and I would do anything for her. I know I am not worthy to lick the soles of her gorgeous high heel shoes. She is incredibly beautiful, brilliantly intelligent and fiercely dominant in everything she does, as well as having the most amazingly captivating and charming personality. But she honours me by allowing me to spend time in her company. And every moment I spend with her is something to treasure. I enjoy the times that she invites me to eat with her or have a drink with her, because every invitation is a treasured moment.
I am a self confessed masochist and I dream of being whipped whenever I fall short of Goddess’s high standards. No doubt the pain would deter me from falling short of her standards in the future. I love my rubber suit and I dream of being sedated and locked in my rubber suit for a day or a night. The feeling of the close fitting rubber is wonderfully relaxing and the feeling of isolation and impotence while I am in the suit is exciting. I love to drink her golden nectar, which really is delicious. I dream of a time when Goddess channels all her fluids through me.
I wear my CB 600 at all times so Goddess knows she has me under her control. Goddess insists on this. Whenever I am with her I wear the remote electric shock collar around my balls. Sometimes she uses the control to attract my attention or punish me for some indiscretion.
I love the times when Goddess orders me to dress in my maid’s uniform and serve her when she visits my house. She seems to enjoy me being a sissy maid and I could never get too much of it. On one occasion she ordered me to wear my tight fitting corset overnight and I would happily do this more often – including during the day. She recently got me to buy a kilt so that I could go out dressed in semi-female clothing but she hasn’t got me to do so as yet. Actually, I would be happy to dress as a fully made up female in public if Goddess wished it. But then, to be honest, I would do anything she wished.
The reality is that Goddess is the most fantastic Mistress I could ever hope to meet. I know I am a pathetic cunt and can never come close to reaching her high standards. I will no doubt spend my life knowing that I am a failure in her eyes. But I will never stop trying to please her, making her life easier and making her happy. She is everything to me and I worship her.

A week of freedom

Last week I spent the week on holiday with Cornwall with Goddess, another colour, Burgundy, and Goddess's two children. She was kind to me and let me take off my chastity device while we were away and we had a good time, despite a lot of rain and a cold wind blowing off the sea. While we were away Goddess celebrated her birthday and we all went for a very pleasant meal. It was a relaxed week and everyone enjoyed the break.
Now we're back so it's back to normal. I have my CB on again full time and whenever I am with Goddess I always wear the remote electric shock strap around my balls in case she wants to attract my attention or punish me. I am getting back into the groove of helping her with her business and look forward to doing my chores at her house again. I would love to serve as Goddess's maid soon as I love the feeling it gives (especially the tight corset) but of course it's for her to decide if and when I do. I am looking forward to being a good slave for her and having lots of fun in the future.
Whatever happens I will continue to do my best to please Goddess and make her happy. Sometimes I fail, but her happiness is my happiness so I have a big incentive to succeed.

Dressed to serve

I am writing this while dressed as Goddess's maid and this time I'm including a photo. Goddess ordered me to wear my full maid's outfit when she visited for lunch. This includes a corset which I have tightened as much as possible, and when she left Goddess told me that I must keep it on for the rest of the day and overnight. She wanted me to update the blog while I'm still in my maid outfit which I am happy to do. Anything for Goddess!
On Saturday I am going away with her and her children, plus another of her male friends. He isn't a full time slave or kept in chasity like me, but he might as well be. He does whatever Goddess tells him and he has the name of a colour, just as do I (I'm Orange, he's Burgundy - Goddess always gives her slaves colours). I don't think I will get the chance to serve Goddess as her maid, but I'm sure I will be kept busy. It should be a pleasant break.
When we get back Goddess is hoping to move to a new house which will allow her more privacy. I'm excited at the prospect and I'm hoping that I can be of service to Goddess at her new home in whatever ways she wishes

Corset fetish

Goddess had me serving as her maid again today. I am getting used to it (and enjoy it very much) and I think I look quite good dressed in my maid's outfit. I served her champers and lunch and then she had to go back to work, but not before she gave me some of her golden nectar to drink. A very pleasant diversion in the middle of the day.
The other day I mentioned to her that I'd had bad indigestion at night and she asked jokingly if it was because I was wearing a corset. It wasn't but I have to admit that the idea of being ordered to wear a tight corset overnight (or any other time) appealed to me. I mentioned it in an email I sent her last night and she told me to wear one for the night. I did as I was told (as always) and the tight fit was quite a turn on. I could definitely get used to it and I hope that Goddess will make this a regular occurrence. The odd thing is that I wouldn't think of wearing it unless I was instructed to do so.
Goddess hasn't stayed at my new house since I moved in three months ago, the main reason being that she has children and doesn't want to leave them alone. She's suggested that the kids might enjoy sleeping in a tent in the garden while she stays at my place. I hope it happens. It would be so good to spend a night with her, even if I was in bondage - or should I say especially if I was in bondage! She hasn't said yet if she wants to rent a dungeon for a few hours, but I'm also hoping she will. I enjoy being with her so much and, as I may have mentioned, I worship her.
Goddess may disagree, but I feel that I am really reaching a state of total submission to her. I'm not just obeying her but trying to think ahead about what she needs or may want. I continue to look forward to a happy future - and I am enjoying a happy now!